merman [mur-man] - a male marine creature, having the head, torso, and arms of a man and the tail of a fish. A merman, like a mermaid, attracts humans with singing and tones.

So obviously, your merman is in a band.

The band may or may not be named after him…let’s call it ‘The Merman Experience.’

Your friend hears about this “totally dreamy” singer in a band and drags you along to a show one night at the local “watering hole.”

You hear his voice first - all you can see are woo girls screaming along to “Don’t Stop Believing” - but you’re basically in love.

You worm your way to the front and pray he’ll pull you on stage, Courtney Cox, “Dancing in the Dark” style.

You fight off the other love-struck floozies after the show and strike up a conversation. You exchange numbers and begin the classic texting banter.

Lucky you though - it seems this Merman favors you above all other land-walkers.

You find a reason to go to every TME show, and after glaring at all the other hopefuls, he usually takes you home to his castle, erm, apartment.

He’s just so passionate…about his music.

It’s endearing, really.

But you’re getting sick of the text response, “sry I can’t…playing a show tonight  :/”

As much as you wish this was an Ariel - Prince Eric situation, you know there’s no chance in Ursula that he’s giving up his music/singing/voice for you - and that’s okay.

He’s too wrapped up in his band and underwater fans to realize he’s got a good thing going with you.

You should find someone you can dance with, and leave him to his guitar and crustacean groupies.